And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
