I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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