That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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