Whod you bang
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
