My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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