maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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