we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize