I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize