Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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