Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
