So drunk its hurt
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
