farters have to be the big spoon...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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