CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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