Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Boobs are out for the taking
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
