Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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