it wasn't lemon gatorade
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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