she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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