We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
