I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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