sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
