It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we made out on top of his cat.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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