I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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