pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
