I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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