I think I won the penis lottery.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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