I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
