I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
