Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
