great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
