You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
