i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
