She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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