i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
