Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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