"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
