Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
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You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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