I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
