what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
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I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
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Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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