we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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