I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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