Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
