The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
