how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
