:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
