what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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