i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
