They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
