Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
