im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm too high and old for this...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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