he wants to bone in the snuggie
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
