exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
