My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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