We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.