I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
FUCK WHALES
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