We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
