She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
