I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
