I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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