Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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