spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it's like heaven, but drunker
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
