i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
