Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together