OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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