I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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