ADVERTISEMENT

• (773): View more from Illinois

  I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying

  Fav 1 1311 1320

  share tweet
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs

  Fav 46 1158 4768

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (858): View more from California

  So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?

  Fav 18 1771 3767

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"

  Fav 81 5275 1322

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn

  Fav 20 7069 1206

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them

  Fav 14 2791 6801

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...

  Fav 22 8605 1901

  share tweet
  

• (951): View more from California

  I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.

  Fav 4 1498 2568

  share tweet
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

  Fav 16 1257 2484

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.

  Fav 5 2976 1305

  share tweet
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious

  Fav 3 1843 971

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.

  Fav 11 1333 728

  share tweet
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.

  Fav 2 799 493

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.

  Fav 0 190 307

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.

  Fav 0 184 210

  share tweet
  

Randomize