Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
